Whether I’d like to admit it or not, since having kids, I seem to put myself last on the totem pole. I’m last to eat, last to shower, last to get ready, and usually last to bed (this is not a pity party– just mom life, what I signed up for!). However, to give my family what they need, I realized that I was running on fumes and needed to fix my self-worth any way that I could. I slowly started implementing self-care rituals to help make me feel confident, relaxed, and “me” again… and it may not be what you’re expecting to hear!Becoming a mother does change your identity, but it shouldn’t ever change who you are. That’s something that I’ve really had to come to terms with since having my babies. And to be honest, something I have really struggled with. I always seem to create a way to feel guilty for taking time to myself, and that’s not right. To be the best mother – I have to be my best self. Plus, I want to be a role model for my children in the sense that you have to take care of yourself in order to take care of others. This is so incredibly important!
I have had to figure out ways to spare this ‘me time’ in snippets throughout my day. In all honesty, I don’t have much time to put together a big glorious bath for myself every week. I tried doing this, and it ended up just stressing me out (which is the opposite of how it should be!). I didn’t know how much time I actually had if the kids were napping, I tried making everything magazine-worthy just to realize that this was not the point. I find the least stressful self-care routines happen spontaneously for me. When I put the kids down for a nap, or they’ll be peacefully playing together, I will grab a face mask to put on + light a candle in my bathroom (Candelles scents are my absolute favorite!-especially Lavendar Sage!), load up my Spotify and just sit + breathe. Wow, how that can lift your mood. I call it my ’15 minute miracle’ because it really does change my outlook on the rest of the day. Doing this touches so many senses- smell, touch, listening- which encourages my body AND mind to relax.
I am a very sense-driven person, especially with smell. This is why I always have candles lit throughout my house! And I love to coordinate scents with each room! As simple as that sounds, it makes me really happy (& feel way more organized than I actually am!). Self-care is such a individual thing: some women don’t like spa time or manicures- it’s all based on what you enjoy.
I seem to carve out my biggest time for self-care at night, after the kids go to bed. I have always been a night owl, especially after working night shift as an RN a few years ago. It does take me quite a while to wind down after a long day, even if I am physically exhausted. I like to take the time to go through my simple, but effective Glossier skincare routine before bed, brush my teeth, light some candles in our bedroom, and do something I love. This changes nightly, which gives me some spontaneity. Some of the things I love to do while hanging out in our room:
+ give myself a manicure
+ work on the kids’ baby books
+ pinterest + listen to Spotify
+ watch true crime shows
Having time for self-care carved out doesn’t always = a spa day! Especially as a busy mom or working woman, it’s important to take time for yourself at times throughout the day that work for you and help to de-stress you- not the opposite! I hope these little self-care ideas help some other busy ladies incorporate some ‘me time’ into their day.
*This post was sponsored by my favorite candle company, Candelles, but all opinions expressed are my own.
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